Perfect Peace
by seddie-sparrow
Summary: Severus Snape never forgot her. So after his final breath, what would it be like, if after all this time, he was finally reunited with his Lily? ONESHOT


**A/N This is a one shot and the pairing is Snape/Lily but it's friendship. It is set straight after Snape orders Harry to take his memories then tells him that he has Lily's eyes. **

Perfect Peace

* * *

_Albus Dumbledore: Lily? After all this time?_

_Severus Snape: Always._

* * *

Snape remembered only seeing his beautiful Lily's eyes as he gave a gasp, and exhaled his final breath. Immediately a flash of light ignited behind his eyes, and he felt himself being lifted from his own body. What was this strange sensation? It felt unfamiliar and calm. He then realised.

It was peace.

For the first time in his life, he felt utterly calm, and peaceful. Most people would expect death to be terrifying, but oddly; he felt completely the opposite. His soul flew through the corridors of the school he had grown up with and loved for many years; and it stunned him to see that his betrayal, letting Amycus and Alecto into the school, firstly; and now that the Dark Lord was advancing, that everyone was running around the school as if the muggle devil his Father had told him to fear was chasing them. He noticed Potter and his friends running, and then splitting up, Potter going toward Dumbledore's office, and Granger and Weasley going the complete opposite way. How had he allowed himself all these years to only see James Potter in the boy? Had he forgotten that the boy was his Lily's son? That if he had taken one small millisecond and come down off his high horse, he would have seen her sharp, mischievous, yet kind shamrock green eyes staring back at him? The boy looked like his Father; there wasn't a shadow of a doubt about that. Both had messy, tangled black hair and glasses almost identical to the ones James Potter had purchased in their third year, and both had pale skin, and a keen and ready smile. This had all been overlooked, however by-as Remus Lupin had said 'a schoolboy grudge'. He had really wasted over 20 years being so bitter and angry toward his tormentors, Sirius Black and James Potter that he had overlooked what meant the most to him; the slip of tongue that day by Black lake had cost him his friendship with Lily, and no matter how many times he desperately apologised, she rebuffed him; and within a few weeks, began to socialise with those so called 'Marauders'. Over the years he felt his antagonism of them grow; especially as they grew friendlier and friendlier with the girl he so desperately loved. Every day he would stand by the Fat Lady portrait and beg for someone to call Lily Evans, but most days they would say she was busy or bluntly tell him to leave, but not in such a polite manner. One horrible time, he had been standing there when Black, Potter and Lupin arrived; and they furiously hexed him all the way back to the Slytherin common room, where Narcissa Black, the prefect around at the time removed 20 points each, despite their protests. Lily steadfast refused to talk to him, and brushed past him if she saw him in the corridors, and in lessons, chose to sit next to Mary MacDonald or Marlene McKinnon; her dorm mates. Slowly, day by day he felt his heart break; but in the seventh year, it culminated in Lily and James dating, and Snape felt his heart harden; and when Regulus Black and the recently graduated Lucius Malfoy invited him to come and join them and their master, he did- and left with a dark mark. His transformation was complete, but he had not anticipated the older Black spotting in and ripping up his shirt sleeve in the middle of the Great Hall for all to see. Lily had been disgusted, and had told Sirius that he shouldn't concern himself with 'scum' like Snape. Dumbledore had ordered silence, and the school continued to have their meal, but started gossiping in whispers. Snape couldn't eat anything; and ran to the doors of the Great Hall so as to wait for his ex-best friend. When she eventually emerged, she was surrounded and flanked by a host of friends; The Marauders, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Alice Gatsby, Frank Longbottom and Ted Tonks. The Marauders had immediately gotten out their wands, but their friends told them to leave it as the younger Black and other Slytherins emerged, which resulted in Regulus and Sirius duelling, leaving Regulus bald and Sirius in a body bind.

After graduation, it felt as if he had been in a dream, as he followed his new master's orders, well aware of the damage that it was causing. The only time he had really felt disgusted in himself was when after a battle with the Order of The Phoenix he found Marlene McKinnon curled up on the floor, dead- and Rodolphus and Bellatrix Lestrange crowing proudly over it. How had he allowed himself to sink to the level of nothing more than a murderer? Wasn't that all the Lestranges' were? Bellatrix was as mad as a hatter and her husband was no better. He knew he could not argue, however with the Dark Lord's intentions.

He had been offered a position at Hogwarts, either Potions master or Defence Against the Dark Arts. Despite his current predicament, he decided he would go for DADA Professor, something he had always, quite ironically, excelled at in school. He had met the other candidate, a spluttering man who quivered with fear as Snape strode into the room. He had, obviously not been the candidate that Dumbledore had wanted, however. He knew that Dumbledore had made this choice due to his deep understanding of Snape's personality and already split loyalty between the dark lord and himself; and therefore thought it wise that the poor quivering Professor Quirinus Quirrell was given the position. Oh the humiliation he felt as students who had been present at that dreadful day when Sirius revealed his dark mark booed and yelled in protest as he stood, announced as new professor, but Dumbledore demanded that he was treated with respect.

That was when Severus realised. Dumbledore hadn't employed him due to any underlying talent. No. Dumbledore had employed him so that he could _keep an eye _on him.

He started to become bitter, and suspicious of his old headmaster, however this was all forgotten as he read the Daily Prophet exactly a year after his graduation, and in the marriage announcements, was one of Alice Patricia Gatsby and Frank Longbottom, and the one that made his eyes widen, and then brim to the top with tears.

Lillian Jane Evans and James Charlus Potter, married on Saturday.

How had she not invited him? Not told him? Shut him out! From the picture, he saw that she had invited Todd Whitt, a quiet, snotty Hufflepuff boy with whom she was acquainted. She had invited _Todd Whitt _but not him? He cried for what felt like an eternity, before screwing the newspaper up and muttering _incendio _as he threw it from his window.

Now as he flew from the school higher into the air he remembered how he felt that day, and it ached in his soul, and every part of him hurt. He never thought that Lily would betray him in that way. Why would she? It wasn't in her nature to hold a grudge; but then he really thought about what he said to her, and how much it must have hurt her, and he finally understood why she did it, all those years later. How had could he possibly have thought she would have forgiven with a few meaningless words? As he was finally pushed downward, he started to cry desperately for his lost love. He remembered again, that he had felt despair as he read the birth announcement for her son, Harry. The anger and horror he had felt as he realised that James Potter had taken root in the body and soul of the woman he adored. He felt nothing but hatred toward _it, _and this only intensified after he met Harry James Potter; because he was alive, and Lily was not. He had not meant to have the Dark Lord interpret Trewlaney's prophecy so, and even after desperately asking Dumbledore to save the Potters, he failed, and suddenly, the world lost its sunshine. Sobs racked through him as he sat on Harry's nursery floor and rocked back and forward, Lily's empty shell in his arms. He realised with a start that it was the only time he really held her. Quite ironic that the very thing he had so desperately wanted was only achieved after her death. He held her gently, only stopping as he heard Sirius Black break down the down with his big boot, not bothering to use _alohomora _and run upstairs, then freezing and screaming in agony as he saw his best friend, his brother, dead on the top of his own staircase, in his own home. Snape stood up with a start, and placed Lily on the floor, looking into her eyes on last time, before placing his lips softly on hers quickly, then apparating as he heard Sirius run toward the Nursery, desperately screaming for Lily or Harry to give some indication that they were alive.

Finally, the bright white light that had consumed him was clear, and he stood in what seemed to be the meadow near his home, the great willow tree where he would go to escape from his parent's arguments standing proudly, and for the first time with the flowers which were normally dead blooming. He looked down, and realised that his robes were now white and the shirt underneath grey. His hair was silky and clean, and battle wounds and his dark mark were gone. Everything was so beautiful…defined... The only thing missing was..

"Hello, Sev." He spun round at the familiar voice. There she was. His Lily stood, smiling at him, a cotton white dress blowing in an iridescent breeze behind her. Her long, curly red hair reached the small of her back, and on her feet were sandy brown sandals. He only took a moment to look at this though; all he could see was that his Lily was smiling at him. His mouth fell open, and he desperately tried to form words, but to his despair, couldn't. He stepped forward and gently poked her arm, to check if she was real or just wishful thinking. She giggled slightly and then smirked. The smile he had missed so very much.

"I'm really here. I promise." He gave a gasp of delight, and threw his arms round her, embracing her as if he would never let go. To his surprise, she hugged him back, and as they stopped, wiped away the tear which he had not noticed

"Lily...I'm so... so… so sorry." He whispered, and Lily shook her head and pushed his hair out of his eye tenderly

"There's no need for apologies, Severus. Here, there's no room for regret. I feel no anger toward you. You saved my son." He looked at the floor awkwardly

"If it weren't for me, he wouldn't have needed saving in the first place" Lily shook her head and took his hand, leading him toward the tree, which he hadn't noticed he was far from. He could hear a distant man's chuckle as another spoke

"Shh, Severus. No regrets. Please." He nodded and looked up at the tree, then down at the ground and stopped, picking up a leaf which had fallen from a maple tree. Slowly, he looked at her and made it flutter gently into her hand. She smiled slightly, and took his hand again, placing the leaf in her pocket, and led him to the tree, where James Potter and Sirius Black sat laughing, causing Lily to smile tenderly at them. Normally, Severus would have been mildly irritated at that, but oddly he found himself smiling too. Lily was right; there really was no room for anger or regret, not anymore. He had wasted his whole life being angry, and now it was time to start living; because his reason for living had returned.

He felt peace. Perfect Peace.

**I hope I did OK! Let me know, please review!**


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